Friday, February 13, 2015

Dear Tired Parents, Children Can Make Marriage Better (I promise)

Are we having fun yet?
There seems to be a consensus that parenting makes your marriage fizzle. To be sure, it can cause the best of marriages a ton of stress; you are up at all hours, sleep deprived, raging hormones, financial concerns, Cheerios  in your bedsheets etc., but parenting can make your marriage even better, so here are just a few ways how. My hope is that this list will encourage my fellow, exhausted parents (my son is up five times a night, so I need this as much as you).
1)      Constant entertainment. Nothing is more fun than children and the crazy, wonderful stuff they do and say. Bo and I were bored before our children arrived to constantly amuse us.
 2)      Greater opportunities to love and serve your spouse. All this service will wear you down, even bring you to tears, but it also brings about long-lasting fruit in your marriage. Once you have children, little acts of service or encouraging words go a long way and have lasting meaning. I now find Bo taking the children for a few hours to be deeply romantic.
This pretty much sums it up
3)      Less time to fight. You just do not have the time or the energy. Often you just have to buck it up, right there on the spot and say, “We’ll talk about this later,” and usually (not all the time) when later comes around tempers have cooled. 
4)      You become even greater teammates. One of you bathes, while the other one feeds. You work-out a routine and system and you need to constantly communicate, but the important thing is, you do it as a team.
5)      You give each other a lasting gift. The joy of watching children blossom and grow is amazing and to think, you did that together, and it is something you can always share.
6)      Your spouse will surprise you. I am sometimes awestruck to see Bo, who was once a rough, and tumble type of dude, have a tea party with my daughter – and they’re both really into. It is inspiring how children can bring out the best in us.
 7)      So many memories, so much laughter. Yes, before you had children the two of you got to travel together, you had more money, more time, you fit into your skinny jeans, but to my mind, this just pales in comparison to the joy of being a family.

These are some of the things we have discovered. How about you? How have children blessed your marriage? I would especially love to hear from some more seasoned parents.

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